Couples Therapy vs. Individual Therapy: Which Is Right for You?

Ah, the age-old question: Do we need couples therapy, or is it just me that needs to talk to someone about how our latest argument turned into a week-long silent treatment? If you’re wondering whether it’s time to dive into couples therapy or if individual therapy might be more your speed, you’re not alone. This is a pretty common dilemma for many people who are feeling stuck, frustrated, or just unsure about their relationship.

So, how do you know which route to take? Let’s break it down (without all the technical jargon, I promise).

First, What’s the Difference?

Couples therapy is, as you might’ve guessed, for both of you. It’s where you and your partner sit down with a therapist and work through your issues together. This could be anything from communication problems, trust issues, or simply feeling disconnected. It’s about finding better ways to understand each other and (hopefully) resolve the same argument you’ve had for the last six months about who’s responsible for doing the dishes. Spoiler alert: Therapy doesn’t actually get the dishes done, but it might stop the arguments over them.

Individual therapy, on the other hand, is your time to focus on yourself. It’s one-on-one with a therapist, and you get to dig deep into your own thoughts, feelings, and patterns. If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering, “Why do I react this way in relationships?” or “Is it just me, or is this an ongoing theme in all my past relationships?” then individual therapy could help you explore that.

When to Choose Couples Therapy

Here’s the thing—if you and your partner are both invested in working on your relationship together, couples therapy can be an incredible tool. It’s like having a referee/coach who can see both sides of the field and guide you both toward better communication and understanding. Instead of each of you playing the blame game, the therapist helps you understand why those same issues keep popping up (like clockwork) and how to actually resolve them.

Couples therapy is especially helpful if:

• You keep having the same arguments (you know the ones).

• Trust has been broken (hello, infidelity or other betrayals).

• There’s a lot of tension or distance, but you both want to fix it.

• You feel like you’re speaking two different languages even though you both swear it’s English.

In short, if you want to work on the relationship as a team and get to the root of the problems together, couples therapy is probably your best bet.

When to Choose Individual Therapy

Sometimes, though, the issues in your relationship might be more about what’s going on inside you. This isn’t a bad thing—relationships tend to highlight our own personal struggles, whether that’s anxiety, attachment issues, or even old wounds from past relationships (yes, those can sneak into current ones). Individual therapy is perfect for when you need to work on your stuff first before bringing it to the table with your partner.

Individual therapy might be a good choice if:

• You feel like there’s something deeper going on with you that’s affecting the relationship.

• You’re unsure about whether the relationship is the problem, or if you just need to sort through some personal challenges.

• Your partner isn’t on board for couples therapy just yet, but you still want to work on the relationship (solo work can help the relationship too!).

Plus, let’s be real—sometimes it’s nice to have a space where you can talk about your partner (and everything else) without them in the room. You know, for clarity’s sake.

What If You’re Still Unsure?

Here’s the great news: You don’t have to choose just one! Many people find that doing both individual and couples therapy is the magic combo. Individual therapy helps you work through your personal stuff, while couples therapy gives you and your partner the space to work on things together. It’s like the best of both worlds—working on yourself and your relationship.

Ultimately, the goal is to move forward, whether that’s through better communication, deeper understanding, or just feeling more connected. If you’re not sure where to start, don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist and ask for guidance. Sometimes, the best first step is simply starting the conversation, whether it’s just for you or for both of you as a couple.