Topics for Couples Therapy: What to Talk About (Even When You’re Not Sure Where to Start)

So, you’ve decided to give couples therapy a try—awesome! Whether you’re looking to strengthen your relationship or work through some challenges, therapy can be a game-changer. But here’s the thing: walking into a session and not knowing what to talk about can feel a little awkward. What do you bring up? How do you even begin to unravel years of habits, conflicts, or unspoken frustrations?

Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Couples therapy is a space to explore your relationship deeply, and there are tons of topics that can help you get the most out of it. Let’s break down some key topics that are perfect for couples therapy—whether you’re just starting or have been together for years.

1. Communication Issues

You’ve probably heard that communication is key, and it’s true! Whether it’s how you express your needs or how you listen to your partner, communication can make or break a relationship. In therapy, you might explore:

• Why you’re having the same argument on repeat.

• How to express emotions without getting defensive or shutting down.

• Active listening skills (because, let’s face it, we all need some practice).

Working on communication in therapy helps couples build healthier habits and understand each other on a deeper level.

2. Trust and Betrayal

Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, but it can be easily shaken. Whether you’re dealing with a past betrayal, infidelity, or smaller breaches of trust, therapy is a safe space to rebuild that trust and heal from hurt. Topics might include:

• What led to the breach of trust.

• How to rebuild trust step by step.

• Forgiveness and moving forward without holding onto resentment.

Remember, trust issues don’t have to come from something huge like cheating. Even little moments of dishonesty or feeling unsupported can leave cracks that need addressing.

3. Intimacy and Physical Connection

Let’s talk about intimacy. Whether it’s physical intimacy, emotional closeness, or both, couples therapy is a great place to work on reconnecting. You can explore:

• Why your intimacy levels have changed over time.

• Differences in sexual needs or desires.

• How to create a safe, comfortable space for open discussions about sex and physical affection.

Therapists can help you both feel more comfortable talking about intimacy and finding ways to reignite that connection.

4. Conflict Resolution

All couples fight—it’s part of being in a relationship. But how you handle conflict can make a world of difference. If every disagreement turns into a full-blown argument or if you avoid conflict altogether, therapy can help. Topics might include:

• How to argue more productively without blame or criticism.

• Understanding each other’s conflict styles (e.g., one person withdraws, the other pursues).

• Finding healthy ways to resolve disagreements and compromise.

Couples therapy can give you tools to handle conflict in a way that actually strengthens your relationship instead of tearing it down.

5. Family Dynamics and In-Laws

Families can be a tricky topic in any relationship, especially when there are cultural differences, over-involvement, or lingering issues with in-laws. Couples therapy can be a great space to discuss:

• How to set boundaries with extended family.

• Navigating differences in family expectations or traditions.

• Dealing with family conflicts without letting them spill into your relationship.

Family dynamics are a huge part of many relationships, and therapy can help you and your partner navigate them without getting lost in the drama.

6. Parenting Styles and Co-Parenting

If you have kids (or are thinking about having them), parenting can be a big topic in couples therapy. Maybe you and your partner don’t see eye to eye on discipline, or maybe you’re trying to figure out how to co-parent after a separation. Therapy can help with:

• Aligning your parenting styles.

• Managing the stress that comes with parenting.

• Navigating blended families or co-parenting after divorce.

Even if you’re on the same page about most things, parenting can bring up new challenges that are worth exploring together.

7. Financial Stress

Money can be one of the most challenging topics for couples, and it’s not always easy to talk about. In therapy, you can dive into:

• How you each view and handle money.

• Financial goals and how to work together toward them.

• Dealing with financial stress or debt without letting it take over your relationship.

Money doesn’t have to be a taboo subject—therapy is a great place to air out your feelings and work together toward financial harmony.

8. Life Transitions

Major life transitions—whether it’s moving in together, getting married, starting a family, or even changing careers—can throw a relationship off balance. Couples therapy can help you navigate these changes by discussing:

• How the transition is affecting your relationship.

• Fears or concerns about the future.

• How to support each other during big life changes.

Therapy can help you adapt to life’s curveballs as a team, so you come out stronger on the other side.

9. Attachment Styles

Have you ever wondered why one of you withdraws during conflict while the other feels anxious and needy? That might have to do with your attachment styles. Therapy can explore:

• How your attachment style (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized) affects the relationship.

• Understanding and respecting each other’s emotional needs.

• Learning how to create a more secure attachment in the relationship.

Understanding your attachment styles can shed light on so many dynamics in your relationship and help you both grow closer.

10. Future Goals and Dreams

Sometimes, couples forget to talk about the future. You might be so focused on the day-to-day that you don’t stop to think about your long-term goals. Therapy is a great place to reconnect and talk about:

• Where you see yourselves in 5, 10, or 20 years.

• Life goals, career aspirations, and dreams you have as a couple.

• How to support each other in achieving those goals.

Having these conversations can reignite your sense of purpose as a couple and remind you why you’re in this together.

The Takeaway

Couples therapy is about more than just “fixing” problems—it’s about growing together, understanding each other on a deeper level, and building a strong, healthy relationship. Whether you’re dealing with communication issues, trust, intimacy, or future planning, there’s no shortage of meaningful topics to explore. So don’t worry about what to talk about—just show up, be open, and let therapy guide you to the conversations that will bring you closer than ever.