PDA: How Much is Too Much? (And Why You’re Making Everyone Uncomfortable)
Ah, PDA. You either love it, hate it, or have that one couple in your life that insists on making every single public space their personal romantic stage. You know the type—cuddling in line at the grocery store, smooching at a family barbecue, or holding hands during a movie… not that there’s anything wrong with that (okay, maybe the hand-holding during a movie is a bit much).
But here’s the thing: PDA has its place. And while a little affection is sweet and can even make us feel all warm and fuzzy, there’s a fine line between a casual arm-around-the-shoulder and making everyone in the room cringe. So, where’s the line? Let’s dive into the world of public displays of affection, and why balance is everything.
Why Do We Even Do PDA?
Let’s start with the basics—why do some people feel the need to showcase their love like it’s a spectator sport? Honestly, there are a lot of reasons. For some, PDA is a natural way to express affection, a little “hey, I’m with this person and I’m happy about it” vibe. For others, it can be a way to show connection or even signal security in the relationship. (And yeah, sometimes it’s a subtle flex: Look how in love we are.)
But there’s more to it. According to attachment theory, how we handle public displays of affection can also be tied to our attachment styles (because, of course, it always goes back to childhood). People with secure attachment styles might not think twice about a casual hug or kiss in public. Meanwhile, those with anxious attachment might feel the need for PDA as a reassurance or sign of connection. And on the flip side, folks with avoidant attachment may be running for the hills at the thought of holding hands at a crowded party.
When PDA Is Cute (and When It’s Just… Too Much)
Now, don’t get me wrong—a little PDA can be super sweet. Holding hands on a walk? Adorable. A quick kiss goodbye? Totally cute. Even a cuddle on the couch at a friend’s house? We can handle it.
But then there’s the other kind of PDA—the kind that makes you feel like you’re witnessing a scene from a rom-com gone wrong. You know, the couple who’s practically glued together at the concert, blocking your view of the stage because they’re too busy making out. Or the ones who think the subway is their personal date night location, complete with a full-blown snuggle fest.
At some point, it crosses into “Please, for the love of all that is good, stop!” territory. And trust me, your friends and random strangers at the park are probably thinking the same thing.
Why Too Much PDA Might Be a Red Flag
Here’s where it gets interesting—sometimes, over-the-top PDA can actually signal something else is going on. Couples who feel the need to constantly showcase their love to the world may be overcompensating for some insecurity in the relationship. It’s almost like saying, “Look how great we are!” when, in reality, things might not be so great behind the scenes.
Now, I’m not saying that every couple who likes to be affectionate in public is hiding something. But if PDA is more about putting on a show than genuinely connecting, it’s worth thinking about why that might be. Is it about making sure the world knows you’re together? Or is it just a natural part of your dynamic?
Finding the Right Balance
At the end of the day, the key to PDA is finding the balance. It’s totally cool to show affection to your partner, but it’s also important to remember that not every moment needs to be a public love fest. (Looking at you, couple making out in the middle of the street.)
Here’s the rule of thumb: If you wouldn’t do it in front of your grandma, maybe tone it down a bit. You can still be affectionate without turning every outing into a scene from The Bachelor.
And, pro tip—save the intense stuff for private. Your partner will thank you, and so will everyone who doesn’t want to accidentally walk into your PDA zone.
The Bottom Line
PDA is a normal part of relationships, and it can be a sweet way to connect with your partner. But like anything, there’s a line between affectionate and, well, too much. So the next time you’re out and about, feel free to hold hands, steal a kiss, or throw your arm around your partner—but maybe leave the grand romantic gestures for when you’re not, you know, in the middle of the grocery store.