5 Myths About Couples Therapy (and Why They’re Wrong)

Thinking about couples therapy? You’re not alone. But before you book that first appointment, let’s address the elephant in the room: myths. Couples therapy has been around for a while, and yet, it’s still surrounded by some pretty outdated, and frankly, laughable misconceptions.

If you’re hesitant to dive in because you’ve heard things like “therapy is only for couples on the brink of divorce,” or “it’s going to be super awkward,” let’s clear things up right now. Here are five common myths about couples therapy—and why they’re completely wrong.

1. Myth: Couples Therapy Is Only for Relationships That Are Failing

Let’s start with the big one. So many people think that couples therapy is like a last-ditch effort before signing divorce papers. But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t just for when things are falling apart. In fact, some of the healthiest, strongest couples go to therapy—not because their relationship is broken, but because they want to keep it that way.

Think of it like getting a tune-up for your car. You don’t wait until the engine is on fire to take it in (I hope). The same goes for relationships. Couples therapy can help you communicate better, handle stress, and tackle those little annoyances before they turn into bigger issues. No red flags required!

2. Myth: The Therapist Will Take Sides

Ah yes, the classic fear: that the therapist is going to gang up on one person and play referee in the world’s most uncomfortable boxing match. Here’s a spoiler: therapists aren’t there to take sides. They’re there to help both partners understand each other better, get to the root of the issue, and work together.

If you’re picturing the therapist turning to you and saying, “Well, you’re the problem here,”—yeah, that’s not happening. Good couples therapy is about improving the relationship as a whole, not deciding who’s “right” or “wrong” (because let’s face it, we’ve all been both).

3. Myth: Therapy Is Just Talking About Feelings the Whole Time

Feelings? In therapy? Shocking, I know. But here’s the deal: while emotions do come up, therapy isn’t just about sitting around talking about feelings. Couples therapy is about communication skills, conflict resolution, and figuring out patterns that keep tripping you up as a couple.

You’ll talk about feelings, sure, but you’ll also get tools—actual, practical strategies—to improve your relationship. So if you’re worried it’s going to be two hours of “tell me how that makes you feel,” rest assured, it’s way more action-oriented than that.

4. Myth: Therapy Will Make Things Worse

This one’s sneaky because the process of couples therapy can feel tough at first. Digging into long-standing issues or having uncomfortable conversations is hard work. And yes, sometimes it feels like things get worse before they get better. But that doesn’t mean therapy is making it worse—it means you’re finally addressing things that have been swept under the rug.

Therapy is all about growth—and growth can be messy. So while it might feel a bit awkward or tense at first, working through those tough spots is what leads to breakthroughs. In the long run, therapy doesn’t make things worse; it helps you build a stronger, healthier relationship.

5. Myth: Therapy Means Your Relationship Is Doomed

If therapy is in the picture, the relationship must be hanging by a thread, right? Wrong. Going to couples therapy doesn’t mean your relationship is failing—it means you care enough to work on it. You’re investing in each other and in your future together. It’s like taking a proactive step toward becoming the best version of yourselves as a couple.

In fact, many couples who attend therapy come out stronger and more connected because they’ve learned to understand each other better, communicate more effectively, and handle conflict like pros.

The Takeaway

The myths about couples therapy can make it sound scary or unnecessary, but the reality is, therapy is for every couple—whether you’re navigating a major issue or just want to keep things running smoothly. It’s not about blame, endless feelings talk, or signaling doom; it’s about growth, connection, and learning how to be the best team you can be.

So if you’ve been hesitating because of any of these myths, let them go! Couples therapy can help you get to a place where your relationship feels stronger than ever—and that’s something worth investing in.